That’s something I had longed for almost my entire life. At least since I was sixteen years of age—the time my father decided he didn’t want to be a husband or a father any longer. Here I am 32 years later, and there is still a part of me that feels a void inside my heart at this time of year. When I hear other people, especially around my age, refer to their fathers as “Daddy” that’s when I really feel the void. It makes me a little sad that I can’t even remember how old I was the last time I called my father “Daddy”. OK, enough of that. God has been too good to me to stay stuck in that kind of thinking.
I wrote a post for Father’s Day two years ago: http://wp.me/p1g1Ud-4S. Wow, time is flying. I just read it for the first time since I wrote it. I could have written that again for this year. I hope you’ll take a moment and read it, it’s from my heart and I pray it will be a blessing. It’s amazing that I still feel the same about everything I wrote. I am so grateful that I have received tons of healing of my deepest wounds since then. However, I’m discovering that this time of year still seems to bring a little heaviness to my heart. I really thought that wouldn’t happen this year, but at least it’s not so bad. It’s not even close to being like before.
I felt like sharing from my heart again this year. I know there are a lot of people like me who were not blessed with a good earthly father who was present and loving. Some of you have suffered way more than I have. I’m not in competition to see who has suffered the most by their dads. I just know that a lot of us suffer from depression and I don’t care how it happens, depression is depression. It eventually will destroy us if we let it.
My way out of depression (although I still suffer from occasional heaviness in my heart) is by reaching for God. The only One whom I’ve discovered that can take away my emotional pain like nobody or nothing else ever would be able to. I used to numb myself with alcohol. I used to wish I would just die. But I thank God that He has delivered me from all of it. God is the only One who has ever loved me unconditionally. I just didn’t know it for all those years because I kept running away from Him. I didn’t want to find out if He really existed. I didn’t want to believe He would let me be in so much pain. But now I know that He just wanted my heart. Now that I have given it all to Him, wow. Life has never been more hopeful. It has never been more meaningful. It has never been more blessed.
Now when I think of my earthly father, I no longer cry from pain that he caused me. Instead, I shed a few tears because I miss him and I wish that he could have seen the great things of God in my life. I would have loved to have seen the hand of God move in his life like He has in mine. But since I can’t, I will just keep my hope in the Lord and hold on to His promise that I will see my dad one day when I finally join him in heaven. That really makes my heart smile. For those whose dads have passed away too, my heart is with you.
So just like I have learned to do over the last couple of years, I am mainly celebrating Father’s Day by celebrating my Heavenly Father and His amazing love for me. He sent His only Son so that I may live with Him forever. THAT IS LOVE. Thank You God, for loving me that much.
Happy Father’s Day to all you dads out there. I pray you will be with family and your children are there celebrating you. I am blessed to see fathers loving their children. Thank you. For the broken families, I’m praying for you too. Don’t give up hope that your relationships will be restored. Anything is possible with God. Don’t forget to celebrate Him too!
And most of all, Happy Father’s Day to my amazing Heavenly Father who loves me no matter what. I love You too.