It breaks my heart today that so many people feel this way and give up hope. But I understand what it’s like to be there because that used to be me. I remember all the years I doubted that God would ever think about answering my cries to Him. After all, why should He? I never did anything for Him. Not one thing. I never knew Him. I never had the desire to. I didn’t care to love Him…I just didn’t know how. Like many, I only cried out when I was in need. I honestly don’t know why I kept trying for so long, especially because He never answered. Well, that is of course, until that last rock bottom cry for help that I’ve written about before.
That last cry out to Him was different from all the many other times. It’s amazing that He answered for the first time. I don’t think it was because I was finally at the end of my rope. Nor was it because of my desperation—I was always desperate every time I cried out. And it definitely wasn’t because I deserved it–no way did I deserve it. I believe God finally answered because for the first time in my entire life, my cry came with a sincere heart. I was done trying to be in control of my own life. I know now that I was never in control, the enemy was and he had taken me to such a dark place. I felt I had one foot in the grave and the rest of me would end up there soon if I didn’t do something about it. I wasted over 20 years, but thank God I was finally ready to change before it was too late. I was finally ready to live–to really live. And I was willing to allow God to do whatever He had to in my life to get me there.
So many times I have heard people say, “Jesus didn’t say following Him would be easy, but He said it would be worth it.” That is so true. I can say that it has truly been worth it. I really had no idea what I was in for at the beginning. This has been the hardest work of my life. But, it has also been the most blessed and rewarding experience I could have ever imagined. I have also experienced many growing pains through this journey and because the growing will continue, so will the pain that comes with it. But it has all been more than worth it. My spiritual growth is incredible. Life on this earth will always be challenging. There will always be many trials. Jesus told us so. But I can’t imagine going through them without the Him on my side…without Him carrying me through. Not ever again. I do all I can to make sure that it doesn’t happen again. The Lord continues to do His part as He has promised, and I believe that’s because I have kept my promise and I continue to do my part. No matter how hard or what the cost may be.
Today I have the privilege of encouraging others to do the same. I can only hope that the way I live my life is a good example for them to follow. I don’t know if I’ll ever get to see the fruit of my labor, but whether I do or not, it doesn’t really matter. That is not why I do what I do. I will keep sowing the seeds and leave the rest to God. That has been a difficult lesson, but I am learning. People sowed seeds into my life and the Lord has made them grow in amazing ways. Because I am blessed to still have these amazing people of faith in my life, for whom I am so eternally grateful for, I work hard to pay it forward. I will keep serving the Lord in faith and try to reach as many as I can while I am still here. I continue to pray that through my life, God will reach people and draw them near to Him. This is why I am alive today. I was given a second chance at life and I am not going to waste it this time.
God has given me so much and I want to share it with the world. I pray someone who is where I once was, will see this and start seeking God with their whole heart right now. Not just when it’s convenient, not just on Sundays, but every single day. He’s waiting and if you open your heart and mind to Him and allow Him to have control, you too will see incredible breakthroughs and miracles start to happen in your own life. You will know joy, peace, and love like you’ve never known before. Even during the most difficult times of your life. Who doesn’t want that?! God will never be more real to you. I don’t want you to live another day without Him, there is so much more to life than what you’re seeing right now and God will open your eyes to see things that you’ve never seen before. Get ready for some hard work, but also get ready for the best days of your life to come.
I hope that in time, you too will pay it forward. May God bless you richly. ♥