Tag Hope

Does Jesus know you?

Debbie B. Leave a comment

That is a question I wish someone would have been bold enough to ask me years ago, so I am going to be bold and ask it now because I hope that someone will ponder it to the point of full surrender and let the transformation begin. It was almost seven years ago, when I discovered for the first time in my life that the Lord Jesus Christ is not religion. He is real and His Spirit now lives in me. Hallelujah, I am redeemed!

As I continue to grow in my faith-walk, Scripture not only brings me my daily comfort and guidance as I seek wholeheartedly, it also makes my heart ache. My heart has been aching for a very long time now and I have been given courage to share this no matter the cost because someone needs to have their heart strings tugged at. I believe the Lord will use it in a powerful way for those whose hearts have not hardened past the point of no return and who need to hear Him and finally surrender ALL like I did. So please listen to Jesus’ words found in Matthew 7:21-23 (as written in my one year New Living Translation Bible): “21 Not all people who sound religious are really godly. They may refer to me as ‘Lord,’ but they still won’t enter the Kingdom of Heaven. The decisive issue is whether they obey my Father in heaven. 22 On judgment day many will tell me, ‘Lord, Lord, we prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ 23 But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Go away; the things you did were unauthorized…’”

Now I am not a pastor with eloquent speech, but I have become a true disciple of Christ and I believe that God uses our willing hearts in different ways to reach different types of people in different types of situations. I am a simple servant who has only been walking this walk for a short time but I will share that I think this passage is warning us that going through the motions and pretending to sound and look godly when people are watching is not going to get us anywhere with God. Religious actions without real faith in Christ does not develop a personal and loving relationship with the One who created us. This, I know!! My heart hurts to think that there will be people at the end of this present evil world who will find themselves on judgment day crying out to the Lord, only to hear Him telling them to go away because He doesn’t know them. That makes my heart tremble and so incredibly grateful that I have chosen to no longer be one of those people! I pray the same is true for you.

I do not think that this passage can be any clearer when Jesus states that the decisive issue is whether we obey the Father in heaven. If you are walking in obedience to God, you are in a relationship with Him. We cannot continue to live in our old ways of life and be obedient at the same time. We cannot pick and choose what we will obey. It is all or nothing. We must turn away from our old way of living and allow Jesus to come in and transform us from the inside out. That is why He died on that beautiful terrible Cross!!! And I also think that being obedient to God means we are known by Him. What a relief for a sinner like me.

All those years I was brought up to memorize and recite what I consider now to be mindless and incredibly empty prayers. The church back then never taught me that I needed to ask Jesus to come into my heart and be my Lord and Savior. I just did what I was told to do like a good little girl and memorized words and performed religious rituals (not sure what else to call them) that left me feeling empty and fearful for most of my life. I was taught to fear God by the church, but it was in a way that made me so afraid that when I came to a point in my life where I was nearing rock bottom, I ran even further away from God instead of to Him. In fact, I doubted that He was real and made some terrible choices that almost destroyed my life.

Today, I thank God for my rock bottom because that is where He met me and made me alive in Him. I had a choice – I could die in my sin, or I could surrender and give Him a chance. I do not regret taking that chance on Jesus!

I am also grateful for my new church and my pastors who keep me hungry for the Lord. My heart’s desire is to know Him more and more and please Him! I never had that when I was young. My heart is broken when I watch others today going through what I did back then. It doesn’t matter what their background is, whether they never knew God, or whether they’ve walked away from Him for whatever has happened in their life –all I see is dread and emptiness and I think God allows me to see it and feel it so I can pray and preach and be bold whenever He gives me something to share like this latest writing.

Some people are waiting to surrender to Jesus because they think they have time, but they are wrong. Okay, so maybe Jesus won’t come back today, but that drunk driver might strike out of nowhere or that stray bullet might hit and then what? There is no time like today.

My heart rate seems to be increasing. I never initiate altar calls in person or online, but suddenly I think this is a good time. No one is too dirty to come to be made clean by the blood of Jesus. No matter who you are or what you have done, if you want to start a new life in Christ, here’s a prayer that I found through a pastor’s book written just for you. Pray it with all your heart and then tell someone! Prayerfully seek a Bible based church and reach out. DO NOT try to do this walk alone. Please trust me on that. In time, you will understand why:

“Father, it is written in Your Word that if I confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in my heart that You have raised Him from the dead, I shall be saved. Therefore, Father, I confess that Jesus is my Lord. I make Him Lord of my life right now. I believe in my heart that You raised Jesus from the dead. I renounce my past life with the evil one and close the door to any of his devices. I thank You for forgiving me of all my sin. Jesus is my Lord, and I am a new creation. Old things have passed away; now all things become new in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

If you prayed this from the heart, God heard you! I wish I could be there to give you a hug and warm welcome to the family of God. I pray the Lord will bring some strong men and women in Christ into your life to walk along side of you. Like I said, we cannot do this alone. No matter what you think or what you have believed in the past, God loves you! He sent His one and only Son to die in our place. He paid our ransom with His blood. I pray you will believe and receive and then tell the world what He has done!

Thank You, Holy Father! ♥♥♥

God’s ongoing miracle of keeping me sober through the obstacles that life brings.

Debbie B. Leave a comment

It is hard to believe that it has been about 20 months since a routine exam came back with results that had the doctor concerned that I might have cervical cancer. I remember well how my life was thrown into such a state of confusion at the end of 2014. The unfavorable results had me going through a procedure that had caused physical trauma as well as emotional trauma — it was for nothing. Well, that’s what I thought when I was in the midst of the challenge. But like God always does, He worked it all out for my good. Anyway, the procedure was unsuccessful, so it was discouraging that there were still no answers. The unknown can really be a scary thing. I had to be sent to a different specialist who could do a special surgical procedure that gave hope that it would be successful in cancer prevention. After that initial so-called “simple” procedure turned into something super complicated and extremely painful leaving me in tears wondering what was next, I was so relieved to hear that they would not keep me awake for the more invasive procedure.

The whole ordeal brought me down for a bit. I blamed myself for what I was going through. I blamed it on my past choices in life. I was finally dealing with the consequences of my dark past. But I had some amazing people of faith there for me praying me through and reminding me that nothing from the past defines who I am today. I know who I am and even better than that, I know Whose I am. I belong to Jesus! I hope others who might be struggling with past mistakes will see this about themselves too. It is amazing freedom.

I am grateful to share that God opened doors for me to end up with the best specialty doctor I have ever had in my entire life of having to deal with specialty doctors. My sobriety of over six years is truly an ongoing miracle and I just have to keep sharing about it. To get through this whole thing sober is nothing short of a miracle. As I was having to go through different tests with the new doctor, I cannot tell you how many times I had to take a pregnancy test before some of the pre-surgery tests that were being done. I cannot tell you how many times someone from the medical staff asked me “are you planning on having children?” It really brought me down in spirit for a while. It was a constant reminder to me that I am childless and this procedure would make bearing a child difficult. It reminded me of my choices that took away my chances of ever experiencing the joy of motherhood like most women in my life. Never mind the fact that I am single. Never mind the fact that I have chosen to stay right with God and remain celibate, especially after God rescued me from the last dangerous relationship that had me wanting to drink myself into a coma. And never mind the fact that I was 49 years old (I have turned 50 since). I really struggled with my past choices, the painful procedures and those pregnancy tests along with too many questions about children really could have had me reaching for the bottle once again. But God is bigger than all of that and I kept holding on. I am so grateful for how real He is in my life. Trusting Him gave me the strength to not throw all the great things He has done in me away. GRATEFUL!!!

The doctor ended up removing a portion of my cervix to kill off the potential cancer in March 2015. Six months after that, she confirmed that there was no sign of cancer or pre-cancer cells — God is so good. I need one more good report before the doctor will be satisfied that I am completely healed so since it has been another six months already, I went in for test #2 just today. I am believing God for complete healing! The results should be back by next week, but no matter what, I am so grateful and in awe of the peace He has given me. I am grateful for how this whole challenge has grown my faith and trust in God. We cannot be overcomers if there is nothing to overcome, right? I am grateful for this faith-walk filled with challenges that bring me closer to the One who breathes life into me and gives me a reason to want to keep living.

I hope someone will be encouraged by this testimony of God’s power to stay sober through some of the darkest days that life brings on this side of heaven. Don’t give up hope. Many of us cry ourselves to sleep in the midnight hours when we are overwhelmed by life’s circumstances. God promises us healing and joy among so many other promises. I pray that you will keep holding on, just like me.

These words from my devotion this morning said this and I hope it will encourage you like it did me: “Look beyond today’s pain and sorrow toward the promise of joy and healing tomorrow.”

Here is a Psalm from the Holy Scriptures for the road, be blessed by God’s Word to you: “Trust Me in your times of trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give Me glory.” ~Psalm 50:15

Jesus carried our sins in His body to the cross. We are dead to sin and now live for what is right. By His wounds, we are healed. (God’s Word, not mine!) I believe! Show us Your glory dear God, in Jesus’ name.

Dear Christian, before you speak openly on controversial issues… (Some observations and thoughts from a young Christian perspective on the Same-Sex Marriage Controversy)

Debbie B. 1 Comment

FAITH, LOVE, HOPE

So my extremely vulnerable and “young” Christian heart has been struggling with this issue for a few days so I prayed and prayed and finally mustered up enough courage to write this post. I am troubled by my observations of how some Christians publicly voiced their stance by only quoting Scripture (throwing Bibles seemed more like it) at people that they do not agree with. Where’s the love? I just want to say, PLEASE STOP. I thought we are supposed to draw hearts near to God, not turn them away.

I am not one to join in on public forums regarding controversial issues. I have not participated in the explosion on my Facebook newsfeed over the last few days caused by the latest Supreme Court decision, but I am troubled by what I have been seeing. Perhaps I should not have said the above comment about throwing Bibles, but I did not know a better way to describe how Scripture quoting has been coming across to me.

I want to make it clear that this is not meant to point fingers at anyone in particular or make anyone feel bad, but it is my hope that it will make some people think about how their words may cause more harm than good. Christians get accused all the time of being judgmental and I was sad to see it happening on public forums this past weekend. Whether or not it was intentional, that is how it came across to me. I see people zealous for God and following His commandments and wanting to take a stance publicly on issues like this one, but God does not need for us to defend Him. We should be careful with how we share His Gospel. “Showing” people is way more powerful than “telling” people. When we speak, I think we need to put forth a big effort to do it in a way that is not going to make the people we think we’re helping shut down and turn away. As a growing Christian I want to be extremely careful with that so it is why I choose not to participate publicly in controversial issues. I know I have had my own moments during my walk, but I have grown so much and I continue to learn from my mistakes and work daily asking God to help me to be better. I want to please God. I want to draw people near to Him, not push them further away.

I will not encourage people to do what the Bible tells me is sinning against God, but if I am going to speak about an issue like this, I would much rather speak on a private level — face-to-face — IF  a door of opportunity opened up for me to do so. And if I am going to use Scripture, I am going to use it in a way that will explain not just the part I am quoting, but the surrounding Scripture as well. I want to speak in a loving manner. I will share why I believe what I believe — I will be vulnerable and share my own personal testimony…the good and the bad. It does no one any good to just quote Scripture and not explain it and it does no one any good if the Spirit of God is not leading. From what I’ve seen publicly, there have been many words void of God’s love. And the words I have read have not been Spirit-led comments — only opinions that unfortunately have been tearing people down. Scripture is powerful for prayer and fighting the war that is going on in the spiritual realm. It brings comfort, healing, and protection to us, it helps us learn to live godly and holy lives the way God intended. It speaks and breathes life into our hearts — it is God’s living Word. But lately, the use of His Word in some instances has not been loving and it breaks my heart. Yes, we should know our Scripture. There is nothing wrong with quoting it, but we need to make sure we are doing it properly. And I must add that we should not just know our Scripture, we must also make sure we are living it.

I have not been a Christian for very long and I soak up everything like a sponge. It is troubling to observe Christians throwing Scripture verses at people, especially when I can sense the emptiness of God’s love within it, even if that wasn’t the intention. Since I was seeing much of it happening this past weekend, I took a step back and put myself on the “receiving” end of it. I took myself back to where I used to be not too long ago which was a life full of sin and completely separated from God. I was unrepentant, hopeless, depressed, suicidal, and drunk. I highly doubt I would have surrendered my life to God had someone been there quoting Scripture that meant nothing to me and condemning me to hell without showing me how wonderful and loving our God really is. There’s no way that would have drawn me to give up my life completely for Him.

Maybe I am being too childlike, but this kid in me thinks it would be much better if we focused more on living His Word, rather than quoting it. That is what I am going to do the best I possibly can and I will keep leaving the rest up to God. If He wants me to open my mouth to someone with Scripture, He will make it happen and it will be filled with His Light and Love and it will be at the perfect time — His time. I cannot do that on my own.

When God reached my heart in 2010, He took away my desires that were not pleasing to Him and gave me desires that would bring Him glory. My life has never been the same. It has never been more blessed as a result and I have never been more grateful to be sober and alive and learning to live a sacrificial life. It is not an easy life, but it is a beyond blessed one. It is my hope and prayer that God will use more of us to draw people’s hearts to Him, but it is hard for Him to do if we keep getting in His way. I trust and believe that He will do for those who surrender to Him what He has done for me and I am going to keep hoping and praying and doing all He equips me to do to help draw hearts to Him for as long as He allows me to.

I am sharing this, not to bring anybody down, but just to give people something to think about before speaking. Remember, if we can speak, have power and understanding, and have mountain moving faith but have not love, we are nothing.

Thanks for listening to my heart – a once empty heart now filled with Faith, Hope and Love, and a heart that just wants EVERYONE to know the incredible and everlasting Love of God the Father. I pray that by living out God’s Word, that more will see and have the desire planted in their heart to tap into His power to change as a result. I pray that more will know His love through my life and the lives of others transformed by God. That’s what happened to me. People showed me His love. That drew me in. Then God and his anointed teachers taught me the rest as far as how I should live and it was all through LOVE. And now, I just want to give it all away…

Lord God, in the Name of Jesus, I ask that you would please do for many more, what you have done and continue to do for me. Amen. ❤

***This post is not meant to spark up any kind of debate from either side of the issue – harsh comments that tear people down will not be allowed. I will only approve comments that lift people up.  What can I say…God’s blog, God’s rules 🙂 ***

I am a Recovering Alcoholic — Maybe I do want the chance to talk about it…

Debbie B. Leave a comment

My women’s Bible study group just finished the book of Proverbs. Since I’ve been on my sobriety journey with God for 4 years, 6 months, 19 days, and…sorry, I’ll stop there. I can’t help it. It’s just that I am beyond grateful for my life. Every day of sobriety means so much to me. Every day I am sober is a miracle from God since I had been drinking my life away for over 20 years and did not have the power to stop on my own.

Anyway, I am so amazed at how I’m noticing more and more the Scripture that speaks about the importance of being sober. It has never stood out so much to me until recently. I didn’t count the verses, but there were plenty that stood out in Proverbs alone. When we were touching on Chapter 20, the leader for that evening assumed it would be awkward or difficult for me to discuss the first verse so she was about to just pass over it. I have to say I was a little disappointed because earlier in the day I had done some studying on it and actually wanted to talk about it from my own experience. Thankfully, my pastor who knows me and my story very well didn’t let the moment pass me by. She wanted to hear what I had to say about that verse, so I am really grateful that I was given a chance to share. You know, it’s such a wonderful thing — the work that God is doing in me. I’ve gone from not wanting to talk about it, to maybe I should talk about it, to hey I think I REALLY NEED AND WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT! Wow, only God…

So here’s Proverbs 20:1 from God’s Word Translation — “Wine makes people mock, liquor makes them noisy, and everyone under the influence is unwise.”  It seems that many think that one of the worse problems in our society today is the abuse of alcohol. I believe the abuse of alcohol is a symptom of a much greater problem. I’m speaking from my own experience. My greater problem was severe depression and tormenting thoughts of suicide. When I didn’t know God at all and didn’t know He was real, alcohol was my only way to get some relief. It was my medicine to relieve the pain. It was the poison that I was using to kill myself. But thank You Lord that today I don’t need it! I have absolutely no desire to drink, and the severe depression and suicidal thoughts are gone. I no longer need alcohol or anything else to numb myself out or to run away from reality. Years of doing that got me deeper and deeper into the pit of hell. That’s what alcohol and drugs do to us, I can see it clearly now. It’s pure evil. It separates us from God. It’s temporary peace that we receive from the devil. It’s the only way he can bring us peace. But I thank Jesus Christ, my Prince of Peace that I no longer reach for anything that only brings a quick and temporary fix. Instead, I reach for my Lord for His everlasting Peace. Every single time. It’s difficult to do, but I allow myself to feel my feelings and pain. By doing that, God not only helped me to overcome my addiction and depression, He has healed my hurting soul from the deep wounds that I had covered up all these years. My journey isn’t easy. I still deal with hurts and pain. I go through a lot of challenges that I now know are opportunities to grow closer to God. One of the greatest things I have learned to do is not to keep it to myself and bury it. No more isolating. I don’t want to ever go back to that dark place, so I’m learning to keep showing up no matter what, and to open my mouth more and talk about the hard stuff. I allow myself to cry if I have to. I’m grateful for the love that surrounds me in my church and in Celebrate Recovery that allows me to do this.

So I just want to close and say to those who can’t really relate to people like me, please don’t assume that all alcohol and drug addicts don’t want to talk about it. Yes, you’ll come across many who won’t be willing to open up, but give us a chance anyway. You never know. You may be surprised at what you hear from those of us who ARE willing. You may even be blessed by it.

Well, that’s all I’ve got for this post. Thanks for listening to my heart. God is amazing. He’s the God of miracles and breakthroughs and I can’t wait to keep writing and speaking more about His awesomeness in my life.

I was a lost soul—a mentally abused woman who didn’t deserve better.

Debbie B. Leave a comment

I don’t know why I felt led to share this old writing from 2012 again…maybe it’s because I recently had a bad dream about the jerk I wrote about. Even so, I believe I’m finally completely healed from the pain he caused. It was super hard for me to see and admit that I had become someone I never thought I’d become, but thank God I am no longer her. God has changed me so much inside and out. I am grateful! As long as I look to Him first and trust He will help me to discern who I can let in and who I should keep away from, this will never happen again.

I am alive and I am free…THANK YOU, LORD!!

Keeping Hope Alive †

That’s what the enemy had me convinced of—he’s a good liar.  I was a lost soul and I believed his lies.  I had become someone I swore for years that I would never become.  I became weak, needy, and dependant.  I thought I needed a man in my life bad enough, that I was willing to look past being treated so poorly.  Now, he never raised a hand to me, but he sure knew how to mess with my mind.  He had such control over me.  I pretended it was okay to be treated that way, but deep inside I knew it wasn’t.  I just wasn’t strong enough to break away.

I was getting older and the thought of being old and alone started to bother me, so I allowed myself to be in this unhealthy relationship.  I had zero self-esteem.  I put up with things I never should have…

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