Why yes, I believe I am. Well, I mean that I am crazy for the God of my life. ♥ In January 2015, I took a leap of faith and started taking courses that I had quit on in the early 1990s when life became too hard and the depression and the alcohol abuse took over. God rescued me from the depression and drinking and now I have this incredible passion to walk with others suffering from things that I did for years. I am not sure exactly where God may be leading me, but I felt led to major in Psychology. I always regretted quitting school when I did, but I never felt smart enough to continue on. And not having money made it easy to forget about it. Now at this age, with a full-time job that drains me, the educational journey for me is HARD. I had to overcome the lies that I was too old to get started again. I had to overcome the lies that I wasn’t smart enough. I am truly an overcomer! I am grateful to God for that. I am grateful for my pastor and so many people who cheer me on. I heard this year that a 99 year old woman received the AA that she had longed for all her life. That really did encourage me. I am glad I am starting this at 49. There is much hope that I will continue on and get my Bachelor’s degree and I hope and pray that it will be way before I turn 99. 🙂 I am learning not to worry so much about the time. Like everything else on this journey, it’s one day at a time with God leading the way. I can’t lose when He’s leading.
The more I put my trust in God and depend on Him to get me through, the more incredible and blessed this journey gets. I was never a good student back then, but I am a good student now. I am getting grades I was never able to get before. I am in awe of what God is doing. He gets all the credit because I know there is no way I can do any of this without Him.
I hope this part of the story that God is writing into my life will encourage and inspire someone who has been hesitating to get started with something great because they think they are too old or not smart enough. Do not believe the lies. I am going to throw out that old familiar Bible verse that people throw out all the time because if you believe it with your heart, and you are aligned with God’s will for your life, it is SO true. Matthew 19:26 says that with God, ALL things are possible. I hope you believe it, I sure do. He is making the impossible very possible in my own life. I am always so in awe of how the Lord moves in the lives of those who believe and put their faith into action.
When God first made Himself real to me, He planted a strong desire in my heart to serve Him in ministry for the rest of my life. I thought being single with no kids made me a perfect candidate to become a missionary and travel to other places and minister to the lost. My first experience was in 2011 when I went with my church to help build loft homes for the homeless in Mexico. I was hooked. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t speak Spanish. God’s love did all the talking. It was amazing. When the chance came to do it again, I was there! I remember being nervous the first time not knowing what to expect and very nervous at the thought of staying where there was no electricity or running water, but it turned out to be the start of something amazing in my new life. I was such a baby Christian then and I’ve grown so much since. I am grateful that my passion to reach the lost continues to grow stronger than ever. I thought for sure that the experience of getting my feet wet on a small scale like that would lead me to a much bigger call in missions, but the call never came. At least, not the call I was expecting.
For a while, I have longed to work in a Christian environment but it hasn’t been the right time. A few years ago when my walk with the Lord was so new, I thought it was time get out of my secular job and look for something in ministry. But after some wise counsel and much prayer, God opened my eyes and showed me that I was right where He wants me. I had no idea back then that a mission field could be right where you are. God provides many “ministry moments” for me at work and for that I am grateful. I believe He has a plan to move me to somewhere else in the future. I don’t think He would have nudged me back to school if He didn’t. So I can be glad that I am still where I need to be and He is providing what I need through it. I couldn’t go back to school without a steady job that pays the rent.
Since I do not work in an environment like a church or other type of non-profit where I would be surrounded by hearts for God like mine, I really had it on my heart to at least pursue my educational goals in that type of environment in a Christian college. I LOVE to be in fellowship with other Christians. I love being in places where God is in the center of EVERYTHING. Places where we can openly praise, pray, and share God stories. I am just drawn to that kind of environment every chance I get. But I realized something huge today. I think God is showing me something that took me a while to get but I’m glad I’m finally getting it (I’m sure He is too!). The Lord showed me that the longing I have had to be in a Christian College is not where He wants me right now. I had a question enter my heart just a bit ago and I know it was from the Lord. He said, “Debbie, how do you think you are going to reach the lost if you are in the comfortable surroundings of people who are not lost? I need you in the midst of people who are hurting and have not reached out for Me yet.” Wow. I can see now that the community college is my mission field “for such a time as this” and it no longer matters to me for how long. Perhaps I will get to attend a Christian school later on. We’ll see. In the meantime, I can reach a ton of people for God between now and the age of 99! 😀
God is going to bring many ministry moments my way on this educational journey, I can just sense it. And as far as my longing to be surrounded by fellow Christians, He reminded me how He has blessed me with my chosen family at Hope Center as well as other brothers and sisters He continues to strategically place on my journey to heaven. I couldn’t be more blessed and more surrounded by loving Christians with amazing hearts for Him. What was I thinking? I believe I was seeing things from my own perspective and not even thinking about His. I had a desire, it was a good and godly one, but it doesn’t seem that it was coming from Him like I thought. As usual, His desire for me is even better than I could ever imagine.
I love dreaming dreams that only my God can make come true. What a life this is. A redeemed life now filled with so much love, hope, miracles, breakthroughs, and God-sized dreams that cannot fail because He is guiding and providing. I will stumble now and then, but He never lets me go or allows me to get too far off course.
Thanks for listening to my overflowing heart. I pray that if you are hesitating to do something for God that you still see as impossible, that you will stop listening to the lies and let God take over so He can take you to places you never dreamed of. You won’t be sorry. Time is going to go by anyway, right? So just go for it. I am so glad I am going for it and I know you will be too. God bless!
Glory to You, LORD. Thank You for choosing me and giving me the courage and strength to keep saying yes so You can keep making impossible dreams come true! ♥♥♥