Sober Courage

Sober Courage – I don’t know what made me look that up. I guess it’s my way of dealing with challenges on my journey with the Lord, and emotions that I’d rather not deal with. I am tired. Even though I’ve been sober a while, I still fight those temptations to “numb out” – it’s more just a quick thought actually, I never come close to actually doing it, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I wish I could just not feel anything for a day or two and definitely not share my struggle with anyone like I am doing right now.

I was reading other people’s articles about it taking courage to get and stay sober. I never thought of myself as being courageously sober, but maybe I am. I could have completely given up and drank myself to the end. But instead, no matter how painful and frustrating life can be at times, I choose to no longer numb out and I choose to let my desperation for God to continue to save me. Maybe that’s the courageous part — having faith that no matter what, God is who He says He is and that His mighty hand is on me. He truly is in control of my life and I am forever grateful. If I were still in control, I’d be dead by now.

So I see that I continue to really be one of His walking talking miracles. I am sober, I am alive, and I have an amazing relationship with my Lord. And wow has He blessed my life with strong men and women of God who help me to stay on the path that leads to life. It’s His courage in me that keeps me walking the walk that He has planned for me and the strength to tell the world all about Him. What was I thinking? I can’t numb out, there are too many that still need to hear about Him and His power to change. I can’t do that drunk or dead. Besides, I don’t want to miss out on His best for me.

Thanks God, for showing me that I am not better than anyone who does not know You like I do, but I am certainly better off. I can’t do anything without You and I don’t ever want to try.

(Those who have been walking this miracle journey alongside me, thanks for being such great listeners every time I need to pour out my heart like this. You are the best encouragers and you are my human angels. I couldn’t do this alone. Love you.  )

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